I get so fucking annoyed with people who say that women who don’t want to talk to strange men are “overreacting” and that “you shouldn’t assume everyone is going to hit on you”
Every woman I know has some kind of weird-ass story of a dude who just wouldn’t fuck off and freaked…
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it to anyone who listens… a guy who wants to be a “white knight / knight in shining armor / nice guy” for the purposes of impressing women ISN’T A NICE GUY. Are they as bad as those who actively propagate rape culture? Probably not, but they sure as hell don’t help the situation - they’ve basically opened up a whole new category of “predator of women” in the form of the “nice guy” who can be disarming without being overtly violent, who then later perpetuates the cycle of rape culture by turning into a rapist himself, or by venting online about how “nice guys finish last” which in turn makes some guys go “no point being nice - girls want naughty and force, not nice and talking”.
I *do* suffer from “White Knight Syndrome”, but I don’t do it to impress anybody, and I don’t do it only for female friends of mine - men, women, children, it doesn’t fucking matter - if you’re being a “nice guy”, you “finish” wherever the fuck you finish - it’s not a race! In fact, if you’re a “nice guy”, you *want* to finish last, because that means the people you’re being nice to don’t. Any guy who tries to use the “pity me I’m a lonely nice guy” shtick ISN’T A FUCKING NICE GUY.
I am sick and tired of this rape culture we have today - I have friends, both men and women, who have been raped or otherwise sexually assaulted, and it makes my stomach drop a bit even thinking about that…and is one of only two things in this life that makes me think about violence against those responsible for doing it, regardless of what anyone thinks about me.
Unfortunately, women today have *every* right to be wary of men - even of me (I’m 6’7 and not skinny, I don’t blame anyone for wanting to cross the street rather than brush past me)…I just hope some day we can beat some sense and empathy into those who even think about doing this sort of thing to someone else.
I wish that this kind of message got circulated to guys more, since they’re the ones that need to hear it, not the women who are victimized and then blamed for things that they didn’t do, and in a better world shouldn’t be expected to have to live in fear of.
Since the http://mencanstoprape.tumblr.com/ has apparently become defunct, but since men are far and away the ones who anti-rape and anti-violence information needs to be aimed at, I decided to start this, using the same abbreviation as the http://www.mencanstoprape.org/ website uses on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/mcsrape). You can also find them on Twitter (https://twitter.com/mencanstoprape).
Main Mod: At the moment I’m just one man, a 34 year old cis-het white overweight graduate student who knows far too many people who have been victims of sexual assault. I am a male feminist ally, a LGBTQA ally, and I try to be as active as I can online and locally in fighting against rampant stupidity and intolerance against people just because of their differences. I have strong opinions, but I am aware of my own personal bias and privilege, and always try to take a step back before posting something to either strip that away, or to at the very least acknowledge and spell out what those biases are so my readers can understand where I’m coming from.
No form of hatred or verbal/literal assault or intolerance towards anyone for their gender, skin color, religion, political leanings, age, weight, lifestyle, or anything else will be tolerated here.
I know next to nothing about tumblr “formatting” and “themes”, so if you are interested in helping me get this going and keeping it running, please let me know.
Thanks for reading, and remember, men can stop rape - it’s up to the men out there who know better to try and reach those of us who don’t.
“Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society & make it feminist.”
—Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer